Ernst Pawlas with the Jäger-Regiment 49 on the Eastern Front.

Ernst Pawlas (1920-2004) served in the Jäger-regiment 49 on the Eastern Front during World War Two. After the war he wrote the account that follows which his son permitted us to publish. It is an unedited story about the Eastern Front, seen through the eyes of a German soldier.

Prior to the dreadful events of World War Two Breslau, my home town and place of birth, was among the largest and most beautiful cities of Germany. I was born here on September 30, 1920. Initially my parents lived on the large Trainergasse near the Schießwerder; later on we moved to an apartment in the annex of the brewery 'Das Weiße Haus' (the white house) directly on the Neumarkt. We were with seven children, two brothers and five sisters. My father was a professional locksmith and welder and I learned this trade as well. In my spare time I went to a boxing club which turned out to be an advantage.

Ernst Pawlas, Breslau 30-09-1920 – Rüsselsheim 19-10-2004.

I was neither a member of the Jungvolk – the step-up to the HitlerYouth – nor of the latter. My father was a dedicated Social Democrat and wanted nothing to have to do with Hitler and his gang. He didn't alter his attitude after the seizure of power nor in the following years. I can still remember very well an occurrence which almost got him in trouble. It must have been in 1943. My father was in a pub with friends near the Neumarkt playing a game of cards when suddenly an important speech by the Führer was aired on the radio in the room. My father and the other players wouldn't let themselves be distracted and continued their game without paying any attention whatever to the speech of the Führer. He was in bad luck as another guest reported him because of his behavior. He was arrested by the police. I was on leave from the front at the time and only after my strong protests and arguments that I as a front soldier had to put my life on the line anytime and couldn't understand my father was imprisoned for such a trivial thing, he was eventually released.

I joined the army just like all of my other comrades because we were first drafted into the Reichsarbeitsdienst or RAD (compulsory labor force) Later on we went to the front. While writing down my experiences during the war and remembering all the suffering and atrocious things that went with that time, Breslau, my home remains unforgettable for me.

I have attempted to describe the events as I experienced them as a front soldier. They make a contribution to the history of this war from the point of view of someone who realizes he has been lucky enough to survive and still feels sad remembering all those who have fallen or been reported missing during the war.

Before being drafted into the 49. Infanterie-Regiment on October 1, 1940, I joined the RAD in Märisch-Altstadt in the Sudetenland for six months from April 1 to September 30. It was a new camp and we had to set it up first and we trained with infantry weapons at the same time.

The war against France would soon begin. We hadn't finished out training yet when we were transferred to Völkingen in the Sudetenland. We were situated billeted in a church on the main street and the front ran about a mile away. When the war against France began, we were ordered to make provisional but quick repairs, behind the advancing infantry, of the bomb craters, created on streets and junctions by our Luftwaffe, enabling our heavy weapons and tanks to advance. We of the RAD didn't get far. We usually were in Thul, Nancy and Metz. We had much work. We were to clear out bunkers and load food onto trucks.

I was to enter the prison camp every day to fetch 10 negroes for work. I also had to clean an abandoned barracks in which ammunition containers, weapons and other boxes were stored. Those were stacked up by my group and after a few days the barracks were OK again. The campaign in France had ended a few days before but each time an aircraft flew by, the negroes ran for cover. At a specific time, I had to take the negroes back to camp. One day, when we were almost inside, a fleeing dog ran towards us. It was surrounded by the negroes and they chased it into the camp. The prisoners took the dog by its legs and tore it apart alive.

On September 30, my birthday, I was discharged from the RAD and was ordered to report to the 49. Jäger Regiment in Breslau-Rosenthal the next day. I was born in Breslau in 1920. As there were so many recruits half of them, including me, were sent to boot camp of the 49 Inf. in Brieg, in Silesia.

During the cleaning and mopping detail we had to clean the floors and the building on Saturdays as well. Our group was sent to the first floor to clean the long corridor. The others had scrubbed the corridor, I had to fetch a bucket of water from the rest room and empty the bucket with dirty water into the urinal. We were not even halfway through the corridor when the three men who were to clean the rest room were already waiting for the orders from the duty officer. The three had already warned me to empty the bucket at the far end of the rest room but that was too far away for me.

I wanted to throw the water away where the three stood waiting for the duty officer. One of them didn't want to let me pass and pushed me off several times. I dropped the bucket and hit him in the stomach and his eye. He fell down in the corner of the room. I must mention of course that I was boxing champion of Breslau and the region. Naturally, this event was talked about in the company. Thereafter, the comrades warned me: mind you, you'll get your share. I learned that one of the two that I had beaten and his brother, who served in the adjacent company, were well known wrestlers. Naturally, I evaded both as best as I could.

When I left a pub on a Sunday, I passed a large porch. Suddenly, two men jumped on me and beat me up. It was a small and dark alley. They beat me from one wall to the other. I defended myself as best as I could. Suddenly, civilians turned around the corner and saw us fighting. The attackers didn't want to be recognized and ran away. I went home and looked at myself in the mirror. As I had covered my face well during the fight, I couldn't find any injuries. My body was full of bruises and blood though. I went to my NCO and instructor and had him take a look at my body, therefore he assigned me to internal duty the next morning. One attacker from our platoon still had a black eye and his brother in the other company saw that nothing more had happened to me.

After a few months, we recruits were transferred to France to the 49. Inf. Reg. We thought we had all been commissioned and would all become soldiers. We were placed in two platoons of recruits once again and ended our period of training in that way. My sergeant was a well-known writer in Silesia who wrote for the soldier's paper that was distributed every month. My Hauptfeldwebel was named Sachse and came from Saxonia, just like my platoon leader Naucke; they were both even tougher than the old Prussians.

We recruits were dispersed over platoons and sections. I want to add here that I have served in 11. Kompanie from April 1940 until three weeks before the end of the war and thereafter in the Leichte Jäger-Bataillon IR 49 in Breslau. In France our company made a march of 12.5 miles as exercise with fighting in the woods. Prior to our departure to Russia, our regiment was assembled on the parade ground for a major exercise. We were taken there in trucks; our batallion was to cover the 45 miles to camp in a single day. Even in Russia I have never covered such a distance in one day.

We left at 06:00 in the morning and the SMG company (heavy machineguns) preceded ours to take the first air watch. After 12.5 miles we, the 11. Kompanie was to take over that watch. Of course carrying our full gear. I had to carry my machinegun and the gunners, apart from their gear, an ammunition box. We had a rest twice. Our Hauptmann Greve always rode his horse beside the company, seeing to it that none of us would hold on to the kitchen or munition cart drawn by our horses. Whoever got caught got three days in the slammer. We arrived in our village at 22:00. When the order to fall out was given, we were hardly able to walk.

Our group was billeted in a summer house with two concrete staircases. Four man went to sit on the stairs and crept on hands and feet into the building. A few months later, our regiment reached the Polish-Russian border, some 19 miles from Grothno. We had to exercise every day, especially fighting in the woods. We also had to help our artillery for a few days getting their heavy guns into position. Exercises were held in the woods.

We often had to cross a river naked carrying our full gear. As I had completed a training with the engineers and was a swimmer as well, I was deployed as a rescue swimmer. I had to enter the water with a rope, tie one end to a tree, take the other end across the river and tie it to another tree. Then the order was given: prepare for crossing. Everyone laid his half of his tent on the ground and opened it. We broke off four branches, about 16" long and 2.5" thick, laid them on the tent and boots, ammunition and our uniform on top of that. The tent halves were folded crosswise and buttoned shut. The weapon was stuck beneath the knots. Then the order was given: prepare to cross. The swimmers grabbed their bundle, shoved it into the water and swam to the other side with it. Those who were unable to swim were to hold onto the rope and pull themselves across. The first platoon became a disaster. The comrades had swallowed quite a lot of water. I was more afraid than the non-swimmers. I had to rescue them when they drifted off but I wasn't a very good swimmer. It improved as days progressed. In the night prior to June 22 the company was to fall in. Hauptmann Greve told us it would begin early next morning.

The exact time would be made known prior to the attack. He had the first row of 5. Kompanie take two steps forward and the second row three. The desired strength of the company at the time was 220 men. With a handshake he said goodbye to each soldier. Our company was to set up two assault groups of 18 men each for the next days. I was assigned to the first as machine gunner. We were to capture and hold two small wooden bridges in order to enable our light flak and the heavy weapons to cross.

The second assault group was to storm a forestry which my platoon leader Günzel was to capture. When we took off, the Russian was rudely awakened as we laid a barrage on his position. The Luftwaffe bombed the city of Grothno and the barracks of the Russians was plastered by our heavy artillery. Our assault group also went forward. We had to advance through a ditch on the left of a bush trail. When we had passed the two bridges, the ditch ended and we had to take up position in a meadow. We immediately received counterfire. The Russians were some 80 yards in front of us in well-constructed trenches. I was all alone in the meadow. The comrades who had entered the meadow ahead of me were all dead. There was a Russian heavy machinegun in front of me with a thick armor plate on it. I fired my machinegun and noticed that the bullets ricocheted off the armor. Tracers were fired as well. The Russians zoomed in on me.

I felt I was hit a few times. My gas mask, tent half, cooking utensils and water cannister were riddled with bullets. Behind me was a small depression. I crawled back, felt a blow on my right shoulder blade, turned over and rolled into the depression. Now the Russians couldn't hit me anymore. I noticed a comrade of the assault group lying next to me. He had lost consciousness. The bullet had penetrated near his right ear, straight through his helmet into his head and exited on the left side of his helmet. His helmet had been riveted on his head by the bullet. He often regained consciousness for a short while, we could talk to each other. From afar I head yelling: the company draws back and will attack from the right later. It became deathly silent around us. I remained all alone with my comrade. We remained there for about thirty minutes. During that time he lost consciousness eight times. When he came to again I said 'next time you come to, I'll take you on my shoulder and we walk back to the small hill, there is a bush trail behind it. We went on our way and were very lucky because we arrived on top without a shot being fired. Soon the ambulance came back from the front with the wounded. My comrade was taken away to the main dressing station.

After 150 yards I came across my platoon leader, who commanded the other assault group, sitting at the edge of the forest, injured and alone. I talked to him. He said he had been hit by a sniper. He had five bullets in his right leg, his little toe had been shot off inside his boot. In addition he had a bullet wound on his head. It had passed through the top of his helmet, through his neck and had got stuck in his shoulder. He said he wanted to wait for the next ambulance. I saw his face and hands turn blue. I went on and said to myself: he won't make it. The Stabsfeldwebel actually didn't have to be at the front at all but he had reported voluntarily as he wanted to earn decorations as well. He was a fine platoon leader.

I reached the dressing station and was treated immediately. I went on the first transport of injured by train to Kühlingsborn to the lazaret in the vicinity of Rostock. This was directly on the Baltic Sea. My shoulder had been hit by a dumdum bullet. The entrance wound was normal, the exiting bullet however had torn open my shoulder, It was an injury 1.5" wide and 5.5 wide.

After five weeks, I was given a leave of 14 days. Thereafter I was to report to my unit 49 in Rosenthal to the recovery company. Our front troops were being withdrawn from Russia and came to Besançon in France in the Alps on the three countries point with Switzerland and Italy. There we were trained by the infantry and the Leichte Gebirgsjäger. We were no longer the infantry battalion in which I served initially, 11. Kompanie but 13. Jäger 49. We were trained in the French Alps and learned to ski as well. A lieutenant was posted to train us who came from the Hochsgebirgsjäger in Austria. After our training, we went back to Russia.

We went to southern of Russia by freight train. First in the direction of Stalingrad. Hitler had said that the divisions near Stalingrad had to fend for themselves and so we marched towards the Crimea. Only Sunday was a day of rest. The regiments already on the Crimea near Kertsch were being pushed back. When we arrived we were to relieve the 46. Regiment and part of the Romanian companies which were still in position. An officer and I as messenger were to take a look at the position and lead the companies later on. We walked through the position and wrote down some things. When we returned we learned that we wouldn't take over that particular position but would be deployed in another area. Our battalion has launched several attacks and recaptured terrain. We were released and put in a permanent camp where we were billeted by group in wooden barracks.

Our barracks were dug in and did not protrude above ground. The bunker was surrounded by a trench. You could fire in any direction. Our group was on the extreme left flank, the others were some 70 yards apart. As it was a hilly terrain, you couldn't see the barracks of the others. Each barracks housed a group, nine men and a noncommissioned officer. There were two messengers, I was one of them and two men armed with a light grenade thrower. Almost every day, I or my comrade had to go into the village with the food or munition bearers. We were on flat terrain and the Russians occupied a position on a hill some 80 yards away from us.

The Russians soon found out we had to go to the village every day in darkness. Although he couldn't see us, he could hear us allright because it was impossible to prevent some comrades from rattling with the mess gear or ammunition boxes when they had to seek cover from the shell fire. When the Russians noticed us, they always shifted their fire forward. The food bearers had to carry three tins in each hand. When we came under fire we laid down and it happened often we came into the barracks with tins only a quarter full. Of course the comrades complained when they were all but empty. When we messengers went into the village with people the other groups of the platoon joined us as we had to pass their quarters, the wooden bunkers. On return, Iwan heard us and treated us to fireworks with his grenade throwers. When we reached our quarters, we noticed two food bearers were missing. There also was a comrade from our group missing. They had got lost during the firing and had ended up with Iwan.

The next morning the Russian Kommissar spoke to us in German through a megaphone to tell us our Gefreiter had been lost and that we should come and fetch him. The man was nowhere near the quarters of the Russians because we heard him yell: 'Herr Leutnant, here are noodles with dried fruit and four cigarettes'. Iwan shouted: 'Come here, I am the Kommissar'. The other comrade from our bunker, who carried a new Sturmgewehr with 10 rounds, would try if that was suitable for infantry as well. That was one Sturmgewehr. New invention. In front of us, some 30 yards before the Russian line, there was a wrecked tank. We heard moaning from that direction. It was extremely hot during the day and the moaning continued into the night. We immediately presumed it was our lost comrade. The Russians heard the moaning too but didn't take him away, thinking it was a trap. The Gruppenführer said that if he was to remain there for a day or two, he would contract tetanus and die. I, being a messenger and a man from the group decided to recover him the next night.

We waited until it was pitch dark. We both crept out of the trench with half a tent each and went towards the tank. We were lucky because our comrade was still alive. The Russians couldn't see us because the tank blocked their view. I spread out the tent halves and we laid him on it. We crept in the direction of our quarters. We were also afraid of Russian Very lights. If they had spotted us, it would have been over for sure. The night seemed to be endless. I will never forget it. It was extremely hard work. My comrade was a farmer with the strength of a giant which he could put to good use now. After much troubles and sweat we finally arrived at the bunker, crawling on our hands and feet. We had been outside for three to four hours and with great luck, we reached our destination shortly before sunrise. Our comrade was given an injection immediately and was taken to the rear.

An order from the commander came in that as soon as it turned dark, a ditch was to be dug, about the width of a spade and only 8" deep to the adjacent bunker. Then digging should be continued up to the next. This measure was to prevent men from getting lost in the future.
As there were no Russian deserters with us, our commander wanted to know which Russian unit was lying in front of us. Our platoon leader was ordered to establish a group of two to three scouts who were to take a Russian prisoner. It was said that if the group was successful, we all would be granted leave. As I had not been on leave for a long time, I volunteered with a comrade. It was the same man with whom I had fetched the injured soldier.

Iwan was located on a hill to our right and to our left the terrain was flat. I knew that in the night, Iwan had set up a forward listening post some 60 yards in front of us. The battalion commander ordered that the next night, the precise time would be given later, there would be no shooting in our sector because the scouts, we, were on our way. As I was more experienced than my colleague, I was to take the necessary decisions.

We crept at some 30 yards left of the listening post and went around it. We had to get our bearings first to know where the dugout was. When we had found it, we crept towards it. We saw nothing moving in the hole. Their weapons lay on the edge. I alerted my comrades with a hand signal, the Russians were sleeping. We were lucky because when we stood at the rim of the dugout, they were still fast asleep. With my machine pistol cocked and a finger to my lips, I woke the Russians by tapping their shoulders with my weapon. We left the Russians guns behind as we wanted to arrive at our bunker quietly and without noise. As we already understood a few Russian words, we learned that a few days later, a massive attack would be launched.

The prisoners were taken to the commander. I heard we had made a good catch as the Russians revealed important information but more about that later. The next day, in the early morning, some 50 yards ahead of us a white flag, tied to a pole suddenly appeared from a deep depression. At the same time, a Russian soldier crept out of the hole and walked towards us. Even more soldiers, some 20, remained in the depression though. You could see them all. I took a few steps towards the first Russian as I thought they wanted to surrender. I waved my arms to make them all come over. The Russian waved his arm as well, indicating we all had to come to him. We stood some 10 yards apart. We didn't reach a mutual agreement as neither we nor the Russians wished to enter into captivity voluntarily. He walked back with his white flag and jumped into the trench. The man with the grenade thrower said to me: 'Ernst we are going to warm them up a bit'. As said, the trench was some 50 yards away from us and the grenade thrower has a range of 50 yards. After two rounds, the moaning started. I said: 'stop it, they must have had their portion now'. During the night, the Russians drew back with their wounded.

The next day the attack began just like the Russians had said it would. Initially we were softened up by the enemy artillery. At some 300 yards to our left, it was all flat terrain, Russian tanks were driving in rows of three, in battle formation, towards us. They came from a depression. I counted nine rows. I thought, now it is over. They only have to drive 10 tanks through our position, then turn around while the others stay where they are. We are trapped and they can take us out one by one. I was mistaken because things went entirely different. Suddenly our artillery fired smoke shells. Within five minutes you couldn't see five yards ahead of you. There was smoke in front of us as well as behind. I had never experienced anything like it. Many tanks could turn back but others got lost. Some even ended up in our rear. We in the trenches have only fired at ghosts wandering around there. Near the group next to us, a tank got stuck in a ditch with its tracks. Its barrel pointed straight at our machinegun.

A comrade who had returned from home two days before was buried by one of its chains. He was dead. The Russians inside the tank kept very quiet. But it is very cramped in there.

Drivers seat in the T-34 tank. Source: Collectie Arnold Palthe

As there were many men from Upper Silesia in our regiment, they could communicate with them. The comrades often called the Russians in the tank to come out, nothing would happen to them. Darkness set in fast. Eventually the men in the tank were warned that when they didn't come out within a minute, the vehicle would be blown up. Three men came out and walked to the rear. The smoke had all but disappeared now. Some 10 yards in front of us, we saw four dead Russians lying on the ground.

During the night, my comrade and I crept towards the dead Russians to take their haversacks and weapons. Each sack contained a large cloth in which bread was wrapped and in addition a fish, all flat probably a plaice and also tobacco and pieces of a newspaper with which the Russians made their cigarettes. The lighter was very simple, the fuse between 12 and 16" inch long but it lit up immediately at each strike. Our platoon hadn't received food for a day as we didn't know for sure when the Russians would attack. Now we had the four haversacks with food of the Russians so we could appease our hunger.

The next days were a bit quieter. Soon a rumor went around that we were destined for larger tasks the following days and would be relieved soon. It was said the advance near Kertsch on the Parpatsch line would continue. Behind this were the large bunkers such as the Stalin and the Molotov bunker. My Kompanieführer asked how things were regarding my leave and that of my comrade. We weren't granted leave. My comrade was awarded the EK II which I had received already as a Gefreiter. The battalion commander granted me 10 days of leave in Jalta. The hotel in which I was staying is still there. It was recommended in travel guides for German vacationers. During these 10 days on leave, I saw or heard nothing about the war: one could really relax here. In those days, soldiers were not quartered in Jalta. There were a few divisional staffs only.

When leave was over I returned to my company which was quartered in a village were we had to take a rest. Rest was out of the question though because we had to sleep during the day and at night, the trucks came and took us close to the Parpatsch position where we had to dig trenches. In the morning the trucks came to take us back. The trench was finished and two days later our unit arrived in the position. From here, the massive offensive against the entire Crimean peninsula would be launched.
Next day it would start already. First off we were told a new weapon would be deployed behind us: a Nebelwerfer unit. Later on we called it a STUKA on foot. At the start of the attack, the artillery was to lay a barrage of three minutes, Then, it was assumed, the Russians would stick their heads out of the trench and wait for us, the foot soldiers, to attack. At that moment the Nebelwerfer would be deployed as well. After inhalation of the smoke, blood vessels would burst and cause internal bleedings. Thousands and thousands of soldiers were being deployed. In front of the Parpatsch position there were mines, Spanish riders (a sort of barricade) and wire fences.

The trench was well protected. Our tanks couldn't be deployed as it was 2 yards wide and 4 deep. During the attack, the engineers carried wooden ladders so we could get out of the trench. The Luftwaffe went into action as well. It seemed to me, the sky was black with German and Russian aircraft. Numerous planes were shot down and crashed. Our artillery had plastered the mine fields first so we could storm the position. The Russians laid a barrage from all weapons. From our jumping off point to the Parpatsch position was some 150 yards. I jumped into the trench. There, next to me, there was an engineer with his ladder. When I looked at him I noticed that his lower jaw up to his upper lip was gone. Maybe it had been a shot or shrapnel that had torn away his lower jaw. I was about to bandage him when we had to take full cover as the Russians were able to direct their fire into the trench from the left. When we rose again, his face was full of gravel which had stuck in the remaining flesh of his upper jaw. I bandaged him quickly.

It is hard to believe but within those 10 minutes, our company had lost three platoons. We only had a few left. Our battalion had shrunk to a small group but we pursued the Russians who had left their position. Hauptmann Greve ran ahead first, in his left hand the map and his compass, his pistol in his right hand. We knew each other well as he had been the chief of my company for a year, I don't really know if he was already a major at the time. I ran on his right. Behind us ran the small group of the battalion. We reached another system of trenches. The comrades joined in and so we stormed the trench. Here it was only hand to hand combat with hand guns and grenades. When I jumped into the trench, I landed right on the chest of a Russian who sat there. In perfect German he said: 'Comrade don't shoot. To my right the others cleared the trenches. I was experienced and stayed calm. I sat down in front of the man and he told me had studied engineering in Dresden for 7 years. He worked in a factory in Dresden and had had an argument with the Oberkommissar. That is why he was sent to the front as a medic
Russian medics don't carry weapons; ours do in case of emergencies. He pulled a pack of cigarettes, Salem Gold, from his pocket and offered me one. I told him I did not smoke. He still had two tins of German made sausages with him. He pointed behind him with his hand. There, 50 yards away, two wagons were standing on rails, He said they had captured both wagons from the Germans two days ago. The fighting in the trenches was over, we had taken many prisoners. The Russian and I had crept out of the trench. I told him: take your comrades with you and go to the rear to be taken prisoner and that's what he did

The attack continued the next day. It had been raining all day. The ground was very soft and the bomb craters were full of water. For the fleeing Russians, the situation was just as bad for them as for us. We chased them over a distance of 50 yards. Then suddenly, a cloudburst came down on us. My comrade and I erected a tent over a crater. We scooped out the water with our food tins. We set the canisters of our gas masks in the water, our helmets upside down on top of them and sat down. Our weapons were full of mud. I don't believe we could have fired them. The attack continued at sunrise. The Russians were still in front of us. Our field kitchen and the carts with ammunition bogged down in the mud. It was the second day we didn't receive any food.

Two days later we were to storm a well-constructed position of the Russians again. The Luftwaffe would bomb it first and thereafter we, the infantry, were to capture it. We knew the exact time at which we had to attack and so did the Luftwaffe. Unfortunately, our messenger couldn't establish contact with them. On our time, we had to attack without the Luftwaffe. We were engaged in man to man combat against the Russians again. The fighting was almost over when our aircraft arrived, Ju 37 and 88 bombers which dropped their bombs right on our people. This time we suffered severe losses during this attack and also by our STUKA's. The earth was black with small fires everywhere. The groups were now just two or three men strong, of our group only three were left. The attack had to continue but who should carry our ammo? Each group selected prisoners we had just made. I chose three men, handed them the ammo boxes and they had to come with us and fight their own people. We didn't send those prisoners back. Two machine gunners took the lead, the three Russians behind them and me at tail end. Towards evening, we were relieved and the prisoners sent to the rear.

Now we were getting our food and supplies as well. Delivery had worked very well. The battle continued. I was hit again. I was slightly wounded, got shrapnel in my left knee and had to go to the dressing station.
I flew there in a large sail plane which was normally used to transport our paratroops. Our plane was towed by a He 111. We were taken to Melitopol on the mainland. Fourteen days later I returned to my company. In the 'Wehrmachtbericht' and in the news from home, it was said that the last Russians near Kertsch were facing their doom. It was also reported two hills and a stretch of flat country had to be taken. It was also said that 2,000 Russians were defending this area without heavy weapons. Moreover numerous companies of 'Flintenweiber' (women) would be defending the hills. Our regiment would be deployed as well. We went on our way and bragged we would take on those broads.

We had severely misjudged the situation. There were not 2,000 but no less than 12 to 15 thousand Russians in position on the hills. We took up position on a hill. As machine gunner I was in the first rank. We all lay flat on the ground in order not to be seen. Behind me I counted another 15 rows. The tanks and the open NTW vehicles would approach us left from the sea. We were to attack behind the tanks. The tanks drove up. We laid ammo and weapons on them. We ran down the mountain and captured the first Russian positions. Those 12,000 Russians were firing all guns. They had light flak, heavy machineguns and rifles. When we passed through the second depression, the tanks could not follow up the hill because it was too steep.

I was on the hill with my comrades and we could see the flat country. We were some 30 to 40 yards away from the enemy. When the ammo for our machinegun and our hand grenades was spent, we observed our comrades running away from the see and our tanks fleeing towards the exit of the gorge. The Russians launched a counterattack. Those we had overrun took up their weapons again.

We both walked down the hill toward the exit of the depression. On the way, my comrade grabbed a gun lying on a foxhole, removed the cover and beat the Russians with the butt. I thought man, that August has steel nerves, the Russians were only 30 to 40 yards behind us. We grabbed our pistols and fired at them. The last tanks, loaded with comrades rode up. They could see nothing from the tanks, even the driver had no visibility. I was struck in my left buttock but I, running towards my comrades, was unable to pull myself onto the tank.

The men acting as lookouts for the driver, shouted more to the right, the others shouted more to the left. They drove on. This was no longer a retreat, this was save oneself if you can. The depression wasn't so wide. As the drivers couldn't see anything because of the comrades, the two tanks collided sideways. Two comrades were crushed between them and fell to the ground dead.

The Russians regrouped and stormed us suddenly, including those we had overrun took up their weapons again. There was fierce man to man combat. There were numerous tanks and NTWs in action but nonetheless, they were unable to capture the two hills and the isthmus. Consequently, our men were overrun by the enormous masses of Russians. I have participated in many and large attacks but in this one we had to turn around and flee for our lives towards the exit. The were hundreds or thousands of soldiers who couldn't save themselves. When the Russians overran us, they shot us like sitting ducks. Many of us remained behind, severely injured and others who couldn't save themselves were either made prisoner or were shot by the Russians.
In the paper: 'Kameradschaft ehemaliges Jäg. Reg 49', nothing was mentioned about this operation.

We were chased back to our starting point. In the dressing station, the bullet was removed from my buttock. My comrade's left arm was injured and later on his lower arm was amputated. The slightly injured returned to the troop. From my company, only 15 men remained and it was no different in the other companies of the battalion. I would have liked to know how many had remained behind, injured and how many had been made prisoner.

Our generals phoned Hitler personally and told him about the heavy losses. They demanded to deploy phosphorus grenades. Hitler refused. They set everythinhg ablaze within a radius of 25 yards from the impact point. Our unit was deployed in the Jaila mountains near Sebastopol. We were no longer a company but only operated as shock troops. I can only say something about our own battalion, not about others and not even about Regiment 49. Our unit was deployed in the vicinity of Sinover I and II. Here, there was only trench warfare. In the rough mountains, the Russians had build bunkers and trenches. Only shock troops could operate here. As already mentioned, our company consisted of just 15 men. Our tasks were increasingly difficult. Once we captured a trench from the Russians, a counterattack was launched a little later and we had to give up the trench. The battles near Kapellenberg, Zuckerhut and at Sinover I and II as well, are unforgettable.

Our troop saw action again near Kapellenberg. Our Hauptfeldwebel told us three men of the troop had received a direct hit and were dead. They were temporarily covered with earth so the maggots could not get at them immediately because the temperature stood at 40. As I was still serving in the troop as an injured, the Hauptfeldwebel ordered me to recover the comrades and take them to the rear in that heat to be buried later. I selected six Russian prisoners and informed them. We cut three branches of about 10 feet from a tree and then went to the front where our comrades were.

We put face masks on and dug the three comrades out. They were still lying exactly where the shell had struck. Of one of them, half his body was missing. It smelled terribly as the temperature stood at 45. There were thousands and thousands of white maggots in the bellies of the dead. Their stomachs swelled up like balloons. We removed the maggots with spades as far as possible. We shoved the long branches beneath their belts and so we could recover the dead from the bomb trench. Their legs and upper bodies dragged along the ground as they were only hanging from their belts.

We still had a few miles to cover before we reached the troop. Our shock troop now numbered just 12 men. Consequently, I was to go forward again. As I said before, we often exchanged trenches with the Russians. We advanced only slowly. Often, Romanian forces under Antonescue fought with us. Those were crack soldiers, just like the units of our Waffen-SS. Marshall Antonescue wanted to decorate the men fighting alongside the Romanians with the Kriegsverdienstkreuz, something our Oberst Jordan and Feldmarschall Von Manstein refused. They wanted us to be decorated with the Romanian EK II.

The last days for Sebastopol had begun. After we had captured a bunker and a trench again, Iwan immediately launched a counterattack. As they were vastly superior in numbers, we had to retreat. Otherwise, none of us would have survived as our machine gunner was severely injured and could hardly walk. He climbed out of the trench, held his machinegun on his right hip and walked, firing continuously, towards the Russians. He was killed by numerous bullets and we could retreat to our starting position.

It was no different in the neighboring company. As soon as we entered a Russian trench, they launched a counterthrust. Our comrades had to draw back but there was one man missing, the company commander. The next night he returned to his men. He said he had attacked a tunnel with hand grenades with Russians still in it. Others were already in the trench so he could not get out. So he had been lying among the dead Russians in the dark tunnel until he was able to escape during the night.

We were relieved by another unit and returned to the troop. The relief for our company had arrived there as well. The company regrouped and we went forward again. A few days later, the strongest fortress in the world and the city of Sebastopol would fall. When H hour arrived, our artillery laid a barrage and the railway gun Bertha 84 was deployed as well. Our Luftwaffe also launched attacks. The Russians laid a barrage as well. It was a hot day, some 40 degrees. Suddenly it started to rain. For the first time in history, a downpour was triggered by a barrage. And so we stormed the fortress.
Our company had taken over the left flank protection and we penetrated as far as the fortress and the sea. From a small elevation I could look into the barracks where the fighting had already ended. The fortress and the city were captured.

We took up position on the sea because the entire Crimean peninsula had been captured. I entered the barracks in the fortress alone and looked at everything. When I opened a door on the first floor, I had to laugh. I was looking at an enormous painting covering the entire wall. It showed a fleet parade taken by Hitler. He was aboard a cruiser in his brown uniform, his leather cap, his belt, his Verwundetenabzeichen and his EK I and gave the well-known salute with his arm. Pudgy Feldmarschall Göring stood next to him with his many decorations on his left and right breast, he held his baton in his right hand and waved. Next to him Goebbels, the propaganda minister could be seen sitting on a pot. He wore a navy cap with two ribbons, he had a little swastika flag in his right hand. The painting was very large and stretched from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling. That way the Russians made fun of Germany. I took two pairs of riding pants and two new shirts. When my comrades saw it, they also went there to fetch shirts and pants.

We were close to the sea. During that time, my comrades and I have eaten a lot of fish. Every now and then we tossed a hand grenade into the water. After the explosion, the dead fish came floating to the surface. We were just a few days near the sea when we heard that the soldiers who had participated in the campaign would be granted a special leave of 14 days. Of course our companies and battalion were included as well. We had to march 31 miles to the station where the special train was waiting. The thermometer stood at 51 degrees and we had to march with our full gear. After 12 miles I was the first to throw my captured pants away and after another 3 miles the shirt. I continued in that way until nothing of my booty was left. My comrades did likewise. Most developed blisters on their feet. The ambulance drove past and took up the men unable to walk further. They were treated and had to march on. Our group had to take over guard duty at Breslau Obertor station so nobody of the troop could get away; moreover it was forbidden the leave the cars when the train had stopped.

My brother, who was an apprentice with a carpenter near Breslau wrote to my father that when we visited him, I was to take my pistol along. During that period I was 1st machine gunner and so I was permitted to take my pistol home from the front and back. As my brother lived with the carpenter on the edge of the forest, we wanted to shoot hare together. I took my pistol along but no shooting. When my father and I left the train at Freiberg station, an army patrol separated everyone carrying a weapon. I was in fact first in line but two NCO's from the Luftwaffe were to continue to the main station and elbowed their way through. That suited me fine. I stood behind them, drew my 38 and emptied the magazine. I gave the ammo to my father standing behind me. Initially, my pistol had been cocked and secured. I had to hand over my pistol with holster and the empty magazine. During the next days, I was to report to the Ortskommandantur. Two days before the end of my leave I reported to the commander.

A Hauptmann, an adjutant received me. I saluted politely and said I wanted my pistol back as I had to return to the front in two days. He yelled at me that I wouldn't get my pistol back. There was a cupboard as wide as the room. It had no doors and I could see the many pistols and holsters lying in there, a few hundred of them. When he said that the Hauptfeldwebel had to make a request for the gun, I got mad too: without my weapon, I wouldn't go the front. He yelled at me he would arrest me and have me court-marshalled. I said 'just lock me up then there is one man and one less gun at the front'.

There was someone else in that large room. A lieutenant, probably the adjutant of the Hauptmann. Both officers had not been at the front yet. As Gefreiter, I already wore the black and silver Verwundetenabzeichen, the silver Infanteriesturmabzeichen, the EK II, the Ostabzeichen and the Krim Schildt. I said that tomorrow at the same time I would fetch my pistol as I had to return to the front the day after. My goodness, how he yelled at me. I calmly remarked that my weapon was recorded in the Soldbuch and moreover, I had to travel through partisan territory. He answered that when I would come back the next day he would arrest me and have me court-martialed. He repeated it a few times. He asked the lieutenant if he had written everything down and I added: 'did you also write why I'm not going to the front without my weapon?'

The next day I went back and said: 'lock me up. If I don't get my pistol now, I'll report to the reserve unit IR 49 in Rosenthal today'. I also told him: 'For a Hauptfeldwebel on the home front, the working day ends at 17:00. Our Hauptfeldwebel at the front must be there for the company day and night; he must even write women and parents at home when their husband or son has been killed. Ammo and supplies have to be taken to the battle stations and then he won't have time to submit a request for my pistol'. The Hauptmann behaved very calmly and said to the lieutenant: 'just give him his gun and ask for a receipt'. A year later we met again. He still was the adjutant of the commander.

German troops on the march to Leningrad. Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Piechota_niemiecka_w_marszu_na_Leningrad_(2-867).jpg

I returned to my unit which was deployed on Lake Ladoga near Leningrad. We occupied a position across from Schüsselberg. We could see our comrades, who were in Russian captivity, at work in the tank factory. When shooting stopped, the Kommissar chased the men from their trenches. Iwan had established a bridgehead on our side, some 40 to 50 yards from our position. Our sector was called Der Finger. Right in the center we had laid mines and built wire fences. We also knew that one day the Russians would storm our position. I left the position as I had to report to the battalion commander. I was to be fetched by car to take a four-week course for noncommissioned officers. This would take place in the vicinity of Luga Preskau in the village Jerie-Jerse.

A Panjewagen drove up to the battle station with five dead comrades. I still had to wait for the other participants of the course. The commander ordered me to collect rings and other valuable items and take them to our quarters. I unloaded the dead and laid them on a blanket. As I was unable to take their rings and wedding rings – at 30 below – the adjutant said: 'here is a knife. Just cut off their ring fingers'.

The lowest rank on the course was Obergefreiter, the highest Stabsgefreiter. Everything was represented here: Luftwaffe, cavalry, artillery and infantry. When the course was over, I reported to my Hauptfeldwebel at the troop. There were a few men of Battalion 49 at the course. The commander said that we trainees should remain in the troop as Führerreserve. When the Hauptfeldwebel and the food bearers went to the position he reported that I was back. The Kompanieführer ordered him to send that Pawlas to him tomorrow. The Hauptfeldwebel countered by saying that it was impossible as long as the battalion commander was concerned. Then the Kompanieführer phoned him because he needed me. I was of course quite mad as I knew our company was at full strength again. There was no shortage of officers or platoon leaders either. When I reported to the Kompanieführer in the trench he said: 'From now on you are my Kompanietruppführer'. I answered I was not going to do that because we had enough Gruppen- and Zugführer. They would then say: what does Obergefreiter Pawlas think he is'? The Oberleutnant said I would become an Oberjäger soon and repeated: 'please do so'.

Every day we received water for washing and shaving and everyone could fetch a tin of water from the officer of the Army Service Corps for just that. The Gruppenführer reported to the Zugführer: Group 3 washed and shaved. The Zugführer reported it to me and I reported it to the chef.

Iwan became increasingly daring. He dug his trenches right up to our position. Despite mines and Spanish riders (some sort of obstacle) in front of us, the Russians wanted to storm our position during the following days. We learned so from a deserter. Almost every night, Russian aircraft flew over our position, very low and slow. Through the speaker fitted to the aircraft, Iwan said in perfect German: 'Soldiers, surrender to the Russian army. Bring your haversack, cutlery and water flask. You'll get a hot meal twice a day, 20 grams of tobacco and during the week three times intercourse. Comrades, take cover because the bombs will come soon'. He meant hand grenades. He always warned us and so we took cover when he said: Now, now. Our aircraft flew high over Leningrad during the night and dropped their bombs. We only heard the roar of the engines. Each night, Russian searchlights lit up the sky, searching for aircraft. Many a night, I counted them and each time I came to 98 but there must have been at least 105. Near our section, Russian propaganda was intense. Often, Russian propaganda vehicles drove along the front, playing records of Sarah Leander. Among them were 'Ich liebe dich und du liebst mich; (I love you and you love me) and 'Kann die Liebe Sünde sein' (Can love be a sin) etc.

Next morning, the Russian attack would begin. Usually, prisoners in penal battalions attacked the position first and when they reached the trenches, the infantry swung into action. The prisoners were given a cup of schnapps and cigarettes first. Heavy weapons couldn't be deployed here as we were just 40 to 50 yards apart. We came under heavy shell fire, then the prisoners came.

In this heavy fire, our battalion commander came forward: Iwan had broken through the neighboring company and there already was man to man fighting with hand guns and spades. Our commander was fighting two Russians. He was saved however by a soldier who had returned from leave two days before. Actually, he should have been rewarded the EK I for that but it was an EK II. Near our section, the Russians came running towards us with much yelling, they didn't jump into the trenches though but fired into them from above. Because they walked above us, we could shoot them like tame ducks. When the fighting was over my Kompaniechef and I walked through the trench, asking how many had been wounded. We did see a Russian soldier half buried, his left arm hung in the trench. The chef said: 'go back and get a spade'. I already had an idea of what he wanted. I gave him the spade and he chopped off the arm of the dead Russian and threw it out of the trench. We only had a small number of injured but above us, dead Russians were lying all around. Because we were able to hold the position, the enemy infantry took no action.

Iwan had broken through on various locations in the vicinity of Mga to the left and right of the road and was able to hold those positions. Our unit saw action near Gleisdreieck. Iwan had created a bottleneck there. We had launched numerous small attacks and our company became increasingly weaker. With my machinegun, I could just reach the Gleisdreieck. The antitank artillery was next to me. The Russians came out of the forest from the right and had to cross the forest path each time he wanted to enter the bottleneck. I had to protect the antitank guns with my machinegun against enemy infantry. The gun crews and we had a fine firing position. It didn't take long before the road the Russians were running across was full of dead. After a few days it became so bad that at night, they stacked up the bodies of their dead comrades to build a wall about three feet high. In this way, the Russians were driven into the bottleneck.

Here we suffered heavy losses as well. Our Kompaniechef was killed here too. Our company was drawn back to some 19 miles behind the front. We were quartered in a small village. Here we received reinforcement. When our company fell in on the street, our relief arrived. Four men of about 40 years were with them. They were only a few yards away from and didn't even report. Our Hauptfeldwebel yelled at them: 'we have no use for grandfathers here, back to the battalion'. Then he read the orders of the battalion. They were looking for three men, a locksmith, a welder and a fireman. As I was a locksmith and welder by profession I became happy. He said: men with his profession, three steps forward. I was on the point of reporting when suddenly the Hauptfeldwebel ran towards us and wanted to kick us. He said: 'that will suit you fine, going away'. I was also one of the veterans in our company. I had to come to the office. There, he said to me: 'take a Gefreiter, go to the mayor and arrange a room for the new Kompanieführer. I have already spoken with the mayor.

I had someone give me a bed and I made it. When we ready furnishing the room, he came in and I reported that the room was ready. He introduced himself as Leutnant Graf von Rittberg. He was very tall and young, maybe 20 or 22. I noticed immediately he had no front experience yet because he only wore the Verwundetenabzeichen in black. He wanted me to become his batman immediately, something I strongly refused. He noticed he wouldn't get any further with me this way. Therefore he added that I would join the Kommandotrupp and wouldn't have much to do as I was in charge of the messengers already. I would only have to take care of him. In the end he said: 'have someone give you a bed, put it on the right side and you will sleep in my room. It was very small. In the middle there was only a narrow path between the beds.

The mayor's house was the first at the entry to the village We could see how a horse fell not far away and could not get up anymore. It had to be killed. I suggested to the Kompanieführer to go down to the cook and have him give me a piece of meat. But he did not react because he did not want to have more than the other comrades.

During the 14 days until the next deployment we have told each other very much as our beds were close together. He told me his family had owned two estates, his grandfather had lost one of them in a game of roulette; the other in the vicinity of Potsdam was still in possession of the family. He talked about dying at the front because then he would be buried near the castle and a monument would be erected. I was actually 22 but a veteran nonetheless. I noticed how he wiped his tears away. I felt sorry for him and answered that if I would fall, it was bad luck but I wouldn't give my life for those slackers at the home front who raped our wives. I encouraged him and from then on he took me along everywhere. I always had to serve his dinner a bit later. The food for our infantry officers was very poor and that applied to booze as well. I had to think of the Luftwaffe and the navy, was their food just as scanty?

The same applied to promotions. In other units there was a celebration, even when someone was awarded a Ritterkreuz. Our companies in the battalion were at full strength once more and after 14 days we arrived at Wollschow in the swamp area. The road ended abruptly here. A sign, some two stories high, rose in front of us. It said: 'The world ends here. The end of the world'. At the left and right, it said were the battalions were located. In order to reach our positions we had to walk on logs lying in the water, some 50 yards into the swamp. Beyond that was solid ground. The barracks lay halfway into the ground and the rest above it. The comrades who preceded us had constructed an artificial screen of logs. Forty yards on, the forest began where Iwan lay. A further 80 yards away in the middle of the forest, was his bunker from where he could deliver mutual covering fire in case of emergency. Our observation posts were all above ground because we struck ground water at a depth of only 16 inch. In the night, the Kompanieführer and I went through the trenches, checking on the posts.

When one of the posts didn't ask for the password and didn't yell: 'Halt, wer da?' the lieutenant railed at him and asked why didn't ask for the password, the man answered he had already recognized the lieutenant by his way of walking. He had sustained a leg injury during the war and dragged his left leg a little. Among the relief that came from the home front, there were only a few comrades I knew. When we went out on patrol, we first had to clear a few mines so we could reach the other side again. The snow lay very thick, some 12 to 16". Our scouts used the path just like the Russians. By way of a joke, I remarked that one day, they would meet each other. And it happened like I said it would. Because of the heavy snow, the branches of the fir trees hung to the ground. Often we had to lift them and creep underneath.

We had no deserters but the commander wanted to know which Russian unit was deployed in front of us. It was never quiet in the unit, something always did happen. The commander ordered our Kompanieführer Von Rittberg to assemble a shock troop of 18 men. An Unterfeldwebel, who had joined the company two days before, was appointed Zugführer. He was to command the troop and earn the star for his Feldwebel. The commander selected the men personally as he wanted to have a prisoner no matter what.

I was deployed as machine gunner 1 and selected my number 2 myself. We went to the rear. I looked at my lieutenant and noticed he deemed it not right the battalion commander had selected me. I wasn't happy myself either because most of them were still greenhorns. In the rear of the battalion we practiced how we could storm a bunker best. The Unterfeldwebel had been a member of the drum band in Breslau and had no front experience. The commander and the officers of the battalion waited at the screen for us to return. We went on our way. The Unterfeldwebel in the lead, followed by a machine gunner; I was third and my helper was at the tail. We had to traverse the log path again.

When we were stepping through the undergrowth again, the Stoßtruppführer saw the face of a Russian who also wanted to lift the snow covered branches. The Unterfeldwebel crept back, ran past me and yelled: 'The Russians are attacking'. Then he walked back to the start position with the other comrades. The officers and comrades standing near the screen heard him yell. My comrade and I had been left behind. I went off the path to the left, into the deep snow and lit a flare. I couldn't see anything anymore but I had fired in the direction of the path. That gave me a good feeling.

When the others returned, the commander yelled why the others had already come back while out there, the shooting continued. Our lieutenant, Graf von Rittberg, our Kompanieführer and the battalion commander were quite mad. The Stoßtruppführer and the platoon leader were relieved right away and had to report to the commander. We never saw the Unterfeldwebel again.

Our regiment and the Heeresgruppe Nord collected money for the Red Cross. Of our soldiers in the regiment, each one has donated his pay of 10 days. As we, out of the entire army group had donated the most, each company was presented with a small 'Volksempfänger' from the Führer. That was Christmas 1942. Each group was to come to the battle station for an hour. There we listened to Christmas carols over the radio. Right on Christmas Eve, the Russians treated us to an artillery barrage.

The next day, December 25, I found out that the Russians celebrated Christmas eight days later. We were deployed along the Wolschow and it was rather quiet. Apart from reconnaissance, there was nothing much to do. Iwan was relatively quiet as well. Fourteen day after Christmas, we were relieved by a Luftwaffe-Felddivision. I saw them marching in. Many wore high decorations. I thought, man oh man, don't we have aircraft anymore?

I talked to several men who told they had only taken a short infantry course. Our Kompanieführer, the chief of the Felddivision and two messengers have immediately relieved the men on their posts. We always had one men on guard duty, the newbies had two. I often wondered why aren't we relieved by the troops from France?

We came in the vicinity of Krasnova, Kolpino, Pushkin and Pudova again and I soon knew the area just as well as my home town of Breslau and surroundings. In the vicinity of Lake Ladoga, near Neva and Gleisdreieck the Russians managed to capture much territory. The Russians expanded the bottleneck by a few miles. We came there as well. That was at the end of January, beginning of February 1943.

It was very cold and it snowed frequently. We found no barracks. We dug our foxholes in a meadow. We could not dig deeper than 15", then we struck water. As the snow lay very thick, we simply erected a wall of snow around the hole. We put a few strong branches on top and more snow on top of that. Iwan often fired high-explosive shells into the branches where they exploded and the shrapnel came raining down. Hence we lay in a summer position while the Russians had dug themselves in, some 80 yards in front of us in an elevated spot in the forest in a winter position. Our battalion wanted to penetrate into the Russian position by all means. The companies weren't that strong. Ours numbered 74 men. So we attacked the position.

Iwan was strong in numbers. Owing to their heavy fire power we couldn't storm the trenches; on the contrary, Iwan launched a counterattack and we had to draw back slowly and dig in once more. Our battalion lost a few officers. Out of our 74 men, only 12 remained.

Our Kompanieführer von Rittberg as well as the Zug- and Gruppenführer were reported missing. A Feldwebel of the neighboring company came to our position and told us he had taken over the battalion. He showed me the flanks on the left and right that I had to defend. The strip my comrades and I were to defend was some 50 yards wide. In front of me were a few rolls of barbed wire. At that moment the front was very quiet and I ordered my comrades to give me covering fire. I grabbed the wire and about 30 yards in front of us, I wove a fence between the trees. Soon, you couldn't see the wire anymore as everything had disappeared under the snow.

German infantry in Russia, June 1943 Source: Bundesarchiv, Bild 101I-219-0595-05 / CC-BY-SA 3.0

Two days later, Iwan attacked our position during a blizzard. It is unbelievable what kind of obstacle that simple wire was for them. Their winter coats were very long, therefore many of them got stuck in the wire and it took them some time before they could free themselves. They crossed the wire like in slow motion. At that moment I could deploy my machinegun. They fell 2 to 3 yards before our foxhole. When the fighting was over, I went to the medic who was a few yards behind us. My knee had swollen considerably. I thought I could go home because of it. The medic bandaged my knee and said he couldn't sent me to the rear as our relief could arrive any moment. The company numbered just 12 men so I had to go forward again. When I left his tent, the tears came. No, I really cried my heart out. I didn't fear the Russians but I was afraid my legs might probably be amputated. It was -40 degrees, on the coldest day it was even -51 in the north of Leningrad. In the center section it was -51 as well on the coldest day.

Two days later we were relieved and our small group came back to the troop. I was lucky as I was granted a few days leave. When I got my travel pass from the Haupt feldwebel, he said I was to report to Ersatzgruppenteil 49 in Strassburg. I traveled home somewhat gloomy. In my bag I carried shaving gear, tooth brush, my daily ration and a pair of socks my sister had mended. I went to the lazarette in Breslau and had my legs treated. That is how I spent my leave. As I lived in the city, I could see the soldiers on leave from France, carrying their suitcases and packs. You could envy them.

When I reported to Ersatzbtl 49 in Strassburg, I noticed that men were being selected for a funeral cortege. A general had been severely injured at the Eastern front and could die any day. As I stood only 5 feet 5, I made myself a few inches taller. I was the last man in the cortege. From early morning until late in the evening we had to train parade and slow march. After eight days, the general died. It was a long way from the barracks to the graveyard. We marched with our weapons cocked straight through town. Our Hauptmann was in the lead with his bare saber. Then he went up on the sidewalk and ordered: 'Present arms'. We had to switch our weapon from right to left. Everything went well and I was happy to have been there.

Our relief went in the direction of Russia again. We stood on the freight yard in Warsaw for three days because weapons and ammo had to go to the front first. Meanwhile, we were allowed to visit the ghetto in Warsaw. We were told we could travel through it by tram but it was absolutely forbidden to get off. Jews were not allowed to get in or out either. They were standing in groups in each street; almost all of them wore long beards.

I returned to my unit which had received reinforcement from home a few days earlier. My old Stabsfeldwebel Günzel, at the time my Zugführer who had gotten injured with the shock troop on the first day in Russia had returned voluntarily to the front after two years. Our former Kompaniechef took command of the company again. He was an Austrian and came from the Hochgebirgsjäger Vorarlberg. I was posted to Günzel's platoon once more as messenger. Our company was now at full strength again.

We learned that the Russians had broken through on a front of 3.5 miles at 15.5 miles before Mga. Our battalion was ordered – unexpectedly – to take over flank cover of Btl 405. We all knew we couldn't be there on time for the beginning of the attack as we faced a march of 15.5 miles and the attack would be launched in three hours. We went on our way in double quick time. At some 2 miles from the front, the Russian barrage opened up. Hence we were too late for the attack but we did manage to reach the German jump off point. There were neither living nor injured German soldiers in sight, there were only dead comrades lying around.

The Russians were in front of us. Our battalion had been surrounded. The commander ordered our company to make contact with Btl 405. As I was probably the one with the most front experience, I was summoned by the commander. The meeting took place in a small wooden hut measuring 10 by 10 feet. There were thousands of field letters on the ground. All officers of the 3rd battalion had assembled in this hut.

The commander repeated I had to establish contact with Btl 405. I wanted to tell the commander: 'we already have so many officers and Feldwebel, why in particular should I go? ' but my Kompaniechef shook his head. That meant I shouldn't say anything more. He showed me the location on the map where the comrades should be. I told the six men who had volunteered to come along: 'I'll run first and fire straight ahead, the second fires to the left, the third to the right and so on'. I had all men be given a machine pistol. The commander pointed out to me that when I saw a yellow phone cable, I should not let it get out of sight. I found the cable and il led us straight to the battle station 505 of the battalion. Btl 405 should be next to it. I looked at the small salient and noticed a Russian tank blocking everything. From station 505 we ran back along the cable. We had to penetrate the Russian line again but we made it and came out close to our position. I reported to the commander. He unfolded the map once more and said: 'here, near this small bridge is where the comrades should be'. I reported I had seen them. He repeated: we have to establish contact, no matter what. So I had to go through the Russian line again. As the first six men didn't want to go again, I got six new men. This time I selected another jump-off point. We were lucky and I could speak to the commander of Btl 405. He wrote a message for our major in the message log.

Back again we went through the Russian lines. This time I returned with two slightly injured. I reported. The commander told all officers that my Kompaniechef should recommend me for the EK I. In the end I received nothing for this action. One hour later, my Zugführer Stabsfeldwebel Günzel was killed and two hours later I got injured myself and came to the troop. My Kompaniechef was killed the next day and a day later he was buried by me in the Mga graveyard.

Now the commander knew exactly where unit 405 was. We, 13. Kompanie took the lead. Zugführer Günzel was to come forward to be the first to attack the position. As I knew how the Russian line ran, I had to fall into line as well. We both and the platoon were the first to attack the position. The battalion came up from behind and when we had broken through, it spread out across the full width. At first, all went well up front. We passed strong wooden bunkers, protected by a fence of railway sleepers. The Kompaniechef Stabsfeldwebel Günzel, a few men and I climbed the fence. The bunker was some 40 yards away.

We could get some 8 yards from the bunker. In front of it there were wooden logs, about 3 feet long and stacked to a height of about 6 feet. I warned my chef it wasn't our duty to capture the bunker and moreover, we had lost contact with the neighboring company. Therefore he gave the order to retreat and walked to the rear. However, my Zugführer yelled: 'I'm going to smoke out that bunker'. I knew the bunker crews could deliver mutual covering fire. He grabbed a hand grenade though and tried to get past the stack of logs. After a few steps he was hit by numerous bullets and was killed. I ran back and reported it to the Kompaniechef. As we had no contact with the neighboring company we had to re-establish contact at all costs. Just when I stood up, Russian fighter planes appeared and dropped their bombs. I saw earth and logs fly through the air, took a few steps until the Kompaniechef jumped on me and pushed me to the ground. As he noticed I had lost my hearing and my speech, he wrote on a piece of paper I had to return to the troop and take the 12 injured with me as I knew the way back. The blast of the bombs had flung me through the air a couple of yards.

Once back with the troop, the medic said I had to remain there for 10 days and if my condition didn't improve, I was to go to Riga to a specialized clinic. After three weeks I could hear and speak again but not as good as before. I was to go to Breslau for further treatment.

The Russians were deployed around Leningrad, Krasnovadeis and launched their massive offence. All lightly injured from the entire region, from Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania were sent to the front were the Russians had broken through. They could recapture much territory.

I came back to my company which was being reinforced. As an Obergefreiter I commanded a group once more. Out of the initial 17 recruits, only an NCO and I remained. I was to be promoted to Oberjäger in two days but today, our massive attack would be launched.

Me and my group were deployed last and were to cover the left flank. It began. We came under an intense barrage immediately; two groups of our platoon lost contact with the company and were standing motionless on the battlefield. I yelled to the Gruppenführer he should continue: if only one shell strikes, we'll all be gone.

There were two log trails ahead of us, either one could lead to Iwan. That was what the Gruppenführer was afraid of. I said to my group: come on, let's go', and took the left trail. We ran forward through the heavy fire and came to an open road. I thought to myself: should I be hit now, the only things they'll find are my dog tags'. There were three hand grenades on the left and right of my shoulder harness. A few minutes later, I needed them all. Across the street there were two bunkers a few yards apart. They measured 4 yards square and 2 high. Nothing could be seen from either my company or the battalion.

Resolutely we ran across the street and stormed the two forward bunkers with hand grenades. The Russians couldn't get away anymore and hid behind the bunkers. Soon, the first Russian hand grenade came flying at us. I threw mine too and we had to jump clear. Then I fired my machine pistol. There was a Russian artillery piece in front of us. I yelled to my comrades: 'turn the gun around' because there were gun crews with us. The guns were very heavy though but we could turn them easily. I should have liked to fire at the fleeing Russians but they had taken the breech-block with them.

Near the next bunker, two Russians fled to safety. Here, hand grenades were flying around as well. I saw I had hit someone in front. But I got my share as well. I had only stuck my left arm around the corner but they still managed to hit me with a machine pistol. I noticed my lower left arm had been hit. I slung my machine pistol on my neck and ran back. On the way I had to lie down often. I supported my left arm with my right. When grenades struck near me, I looked for cover near a Russian tank that had received a direct hit. When I worked my way inside backwards I sat down on the thigh of a Russian. I turned around and we looked into each other's eyes. He was severely injured, blood dripping from his ears and mouth. I saw him slowly grabbing his pistol with his last strength to shoot me. I had my machine pistol around my neck though and fired from my hip, one burst in his stomach. He died instantly.

I was treated at the dressing station of Mga Puchovo. I was also photographed by Chaplain Prof. Dr. Stelzenberger, Feldpost Nr. 07282. Later on he sent me two pictures. He lived in West Germany for many years.

The hospital train drove to Riga in Latvia. All wounded soldiers were being washed naked by local women. X-rays were taken of my left arm and it was put in a cast. Thereafter I arrived in Bad Suderode in the Harz. There I was awarded the Verwundetenabzeichen in black. Fourteen days later I received mail from the front. My Hauptfeldwebel Sachse wrote that an entire platoon had been taken prisoner. The others would have been killed or injured. It is almost unbelievable that only four men of our company would have survived: the men of my group.

They testified that my group had been the first to storm the position. I received an envelope. It contained the recommendation to my EK I as Obergefreiter. There was a Verwundenabzeichen in gold as well as my promotion to Oberjäger. If my comrades hadn't told the Hauptfeldwebel that we of the company and the battalion had been inside the artillery emplacement of the Russians, I wouldn't have received a decoration at all.
After a few weeks in the lazarette, I went to recovery unit 49 in Breslau. When the cast was taken away in the hospital, it was discovered that my arm had been twisted 90 degrees lengthwise and had grown back together in that position. X rays were taken immediately and the physician saw that my lower left arm had been riddled with bullets twice and had shattered. Therefore I was given orthopedic gloves.

In this period I took numerous courses. I was told that later on, I would be appointed deputy officer of the air raid watch. To that end I had to take a course of four weeks in Potsdam. There were only 16 of us. We had a lot to learn. From noncommissioned officer to major, they all came from Germany. We were posted to the air raid warning unit in the old barracks of Frederick the Great when he was still alive.

To stand air raid watch, lots were always drawn. There was a watch tower on the left and right of the barracks. Usually, the officers were out of luck and they had to take the fire watch in the tower. Whenever American bombers flew over Potsdam I thought: 'hopefully they won't mistake Berlin for Potsdam'. The moral impact of those flights was very heavy as those planes flew very low. It seemed like you could reach out and touch them with your hand. Like I said, the course was really tough and exhausting. Every two hours we had another instructor for chemistry, fire protection, rescue and such. When I returned to the recovery unit I took over the air raid protection for the battalion but not for long. The company was also in charge of the instructors and had to deliver the men for the army patrol. As I couldn't serve as an instructor yet, the Hauptfeldwebel told me to report to the Ortskommandantur the next day as the new patrol leader.

I thought the Hauptmann, who had yelled so much at me a year before because of the pistols, wouldn't be there anymore. I stood rigidly at attention, reported and said I was the new leader of the army patrol. He gave me the badge and explained what to do in an emergency and that I had to report about it. When he had finished he said: 'don't I know you?' I said that this time a year ago, he had wanted to court-martial me because of a pistol. This way I pulled the sting out and his face became deep red. That was in the summer of 1943; he was still at the home front and wore no decorations except the Kriegsverdienstkreuz. I was now Oberjäger and wore the Verwundetenabzeichen in bronze, silver and gold, the Infanteriesturmabzeichen in silver, the Ostmedaille, the EK I and II, the Crimea badge and the Jägeremblem on my sleeve. He was obviously very happy that I did not elaborate on that subject.

Every three or four days I had to submit my report. I selected another Gefreiter and Obergefreiter, two big guys, for the patrol. I explained to them they were to check ranks up to Obergefreiter and I would check the noncommissioned officers up to Hauptfeldwebel and Stabsfeldwebel.

The leader of the patrol should really be an Oberfeldwebel but as I wore several decorations, the Hauptmann appointed me. In those six weeks on patrol I experienced many vexations. I know the city well because, as I said in the beginning, I had lived on Neumarkt where the Gabeljürgen is. We were called upon by inhabitants when men on leave created disturbances. Often I didn't really know whether what we were doing was actually the work of the police but wherever military were concerned, I had to intervene. That also happened when a soldier was reported to me who created mayhem.

I handled him rather forcefully and told him: 'if you don't calm down now, I'll take you with me and you can spend your leave in jail'.

One day we were called for again. A Feldwebel returning from the front had caught his wife in bed with her lover and had shot them both. Later on, I learned the court-martial had acquitted him and he had to return to the front again.

When I reported to the adjutant, he was very polite this time. He took me to a side room and told me to sit down. Then he poured me a glass of wine and we talked. He explained he had been overworked often and when he had yelled at me some time ago, others laws had been valid. He said we had to forget it all and waved it away. I answered I wouldn't forget it that easily. He also said he knew many officers of the 49th, even by name. I had to tell him that many of them were not alive anymore.

During another patrol, I was called for once again. An artillery officer who was on leave from France, had shot his wife's lover. He hadn't hurt her in any way. I arrested him and asked him why he hadn't shot both of them. This man told the court-martial what I had told him. A few days later, the Hauptmann said to me that when I had a case like that again, I had to hold back a little. The officer was sent to a penal battalion in Russia. It was my opinion this couldn't be the duty of the army patrol, here the KRIPO or the municipal police should have intervened. I had to go back to the recovery company but was posted to the instructors right away.

One day, the Hauptfeldwebel, whom I knew well from the front, summoned me to the office. I was to be granted special leave, a so-called Adolf Hitler Freiplatzspende. That was he reward for the Goldenes Verwundetenabzeichen. From the 12 families where I could spend my leave, I selected a family of peasants in the vicinity of Gelnhausen because, being a city boy, I had never been on a farm.

On arriving in the station, I looked for my host in vain initially but when I went in the direction of the farm, he called out: 'Ernst, is that you?' I confirmed it and we greeted each other. He also introduced me to his daughters. We climbed onto the cart and talked. The husbands of the daughters had been called up and because they both owned a farm, there was much work to do. The next morning, the farmer introduced me to his family. I also came to know the mother of the farmer. She was 83 years old. The youngest daughter was 20 and she lived with him. Her fiancé had been reported missing in Stalingrad. The only son had been killed in the vicinity of Leningrad.

I spent a wonderful 14 days there. Everyone wanted to see me and the grandmother baked for me every day. I told the farmer I was to marry in four weeks but he shouldn't tell anyone. Each child and the parents as well played an instrument; the mother played the piano, the son played the violin, the farmer himself played the accordion and the daughter the flute. From the window he pointed to a hill with a wind mill on top of it. 'The miller has a beautiful daughter, you should keep her warm. When you go home, you will surely get some flour'.

He gave me his bike and I rode to the mill. The daughter received me, went into a side room and called her father. He came up the stairs, a bottle of schnapps in his hand which he put on the table. After five minutes he said he had to get back to work as the next morning he had to deliver flour to the town. He was the only miller in the village, the other had been called up. So I only talked to the daughter. She told me she was a leader in the BDM and 18 years old. She was very pretty, had long hair and two long pigtails. She interrogated me, was I engaged or married and did I have children. When she started talking about wanting to have six children, three boys and three girls, I felt really scared. I couldn't tell her the truth and said I hadn't had the time to look for the right woman as I had been injured numerous times. In the end I had to go because the farmer wanted to go to his daughters with me.

A Gefreiter and I were the only soldiers in the village. Every day, the young girls assembled in the local pub to sew, to knit or crochet. There was much singing as well. There always were three or four men present I had to tell about my past. The girls always took me home. I liked that and they only left to go home after I had opened the window on the first floor and bade them goodnight.

The next day, the farmer's daughter wanted to slaughter a pig and I was invited. I had said I would like to be there as I had never witnessed something like it. At 07:00 in the morning her son came and called: 'Ernst, that pig is already dead'. I dressed quickly and helped cut the pig into pieces. At home we only knew ration cards for food. They gave me the lean meat to eat, mostly from the head. I didn't eat more than a quarter pound.

My farmer and I had to visit many families in the village. In the neighboring village, a movie was shown next to the train station. The Gefreiter and I were invited and so we went to the other village with 12 girls. We used the whole street as there was no traffic anyway.

When we went home arm in arm, one observing the other in order not to do stupid things. I went into the field with the farmer two or three times. To me, the horses always went too slow so I spurred them on. In any case, I enjoyed myself very much during those 14 days.

Then the day to leave came. I bade goodbye to all. I wrote my fiancé she was to pick me up at the station. She had to take the small cart as well. The farmers had given me much. I received a pound of peas from them, the miller gave me a pound of flour and the grandmother had baked a cake for me. The daughters gave me two living chickens in a box and a few eggs. I had to carry a lot and I was happy when I was on the train. Signs were hanging everywhere: 'hoarding is forbidden'. Between Thuringia and Breslau I was checked many times by a patrol. Fortunately, my papers read: Á.H. Freiplatzspende.

On arrival at the station, my wife to be was waiting for me. The next day I reported back to the recovery company and had to stand air and fire guard right away. I called up the men to check them. The slightly injured had received two ration cards for schnapps the day before. I said I was going to be married in four days and whether someone would give me Erich's cards. Out of the 18 comrades, three of them no longer had their cards. One of them had a bottle and we went to the mess with it. The mess servant emptied each glass into the bottle and everyone chipped in. The bottle was filled very rapidly.

In Breslau there was hardly any wine but we did have many distilleries and breweries. In a distillery I went straight to the right people and asked them if they would sell a bottle of schnapps to me as I was to be married in four days. Only a few didn't give me anything, afraid as they were I would report them. I was very pleased because at least I had gotten the schnapps or the liquor for free.

On 4.12.1943 we drove in a white hearse to the church in beautiful weather. The others came by car. Many didn't know that for a wedding party, they were eligible for an additional six ration cards. Prior the wedding, the Hauptfeldwebel told me that the OKH had ordered me to go to France where artillery officers would be retrained to infantry officers.

Thank God, I didn't have to go to France. Three days after my marriage though, I was ordered to go to Deggendorf in Bavaria as instructor of a starters course for noncommissioned officers. My Hauptfeldwebel and I, we understood each other well. Yet I asked him why I had to go, the only instructor. He replied that everything went via the OKH and he couldn't do anything about it. Of course, I was very angry because, firstly I had just married, secondly my company was affected and thirdly, I lived in Breslau and could go to work by tram. All of that would be over now.

On arrival in Deggendorf, I reported to the officer on duty at the guard house. The papers I carried were forwarded to the commander. The location was not a barracks but a large mansion with many annexes. Before the war, it had been a home for the physically and mentally disabled. The guard sent me a Gefreiter to accompany me so I wouldn't get lost. I reported to the commander and handed over my papers. I saw him frowning his face, he probably thought to himself: 'here we have a Prussian coming to Bavaria as if we don't have instructors'. Then he ordered me to report to the Hauptmann of 2. Kompanie. He looked out the window and said: 'the company is taking a break in the orchard'.

The Gefreiter went with me. I reported to the Kompaniechef who told me though he didn't need instructors and the commander should send me to 3. Kompanie. I said to the Gefreiter I couldn't understand, the commander should know in which company men were needed. The Gefreiter replied that there were no EK I wearers in 2. Kompanie. 'You would be conspicuous there. In 3. Kompanie there are three of them'.

So I reported once again to the commander and after some consultation he said; 'You go to 3. Kompanie'. I first had to report to the Quartermaster Sergeant for my equipment. A civilian, who had lost his lower leg during the war, handed out the stuff. He noticed immediately I was a Prussian. The items that had to be changed were put on the floor. I selected a haversack, water flask, cutlery and half a tent. I was hopping mad. The items were on a shelf near the door. I was on the point of jumping over the shelf and give the man a beating. Eventually, I didn't do so.

I made friends with one of the instructors. On 18.12.1943, all noncommissioned officers on the course went on leave. Two days later, we instructors celebrated Christmas and on the 22nd we were granted a few days leave. We celebrated in a small room. All instructors of the battalion were present. Each man had to stand up and sing a song.

Civilians had been invited as well. All had already taken in a lot of alcohol and my friend said to me: 'Ernst, you are a lousy Prussian' and similar language. I said: 'Walter, from now on I won't talk to you any more'. The party became increasingly cheerful. Suddenly and without any reason, the instructors and civilians started fighting among them. I shoved my chair against the wall and observed everything quietly. The brawl lasted only a few minutes and ended as suddenly as it had begun. People left the room and I saw a civilian, the assistant of the quartermaster lying in a corner. You could see his prosthesis. He was drunk and slept. I lifted him up, put him on my shoulder and carried him to the guard. I laid him on a stretcher, had the guard fetch water and a towel and washed the blood off his face. I said to the guard: 'Don't tell him who brought him here'. Of course, the TDD asked about it the next day.

During dinner, nothing was said about the fight. I saw the bull looking for me as I had constantly evaded him. When I went to the dining room again he came to me, took my hand and said; 'thanks, you are a nice Prussian nonetheless'. I said the Prussians couldn't act otherwise and moreover: 'we are all Germans'.

During my leave, I went to the Hauptfeldwebel of the recovery company. I asked him if he had taken any action yet. He said I had been called up by the OKH. I went back to Deggendorf. There were only Gefreiter on the beginners course for noncommissioned officer and they all wanted to become that or officer. Prior to coming here, they already had a sound training under their belts in the HJ camp or elsewhere. I got the men to the point where they could take a rifle, machine pistol or machinegun apart and put it together again blindfolded. I didn't see much of Deggendorf and surroundings as it was January and so darkness came early. While the other instructors went to the pub after hours, I always prepared myself for the day ahead. If you did prepare yourself well here, you could get a long way.

Three weeks later I received my transfer from the OKH to the training company in Breslau. When I reported to the commander to get my papers, he said to me: Ýou haven't felt well here'. Actually I didn't feel like replying and wanted to leave immediately. But he didn't let me go. In the end I told him that my cousin, of class 1916 had worked in Munich, had been called up there and did see active service from 1937 to 1939. He joined a Bavarian division as a Prussian, was a soldier for five years and as an Obergefreiter he commanded a Gruppe in Poland and France; he was killed in Leningrad. He rose to noncommissioned officer. After having said this, I turned around and left.

On arrival in Breslau, we instructors were sent to Lüben in Silesia. There we took over a company of recruits and trained them. As Gruppenführer I also trained future officers and noncommissioned off icers here. Our Hauptmann came from the Luftwaffe and was transferred because of a disciplinary measure. My recruits were all big guys. They were all in the same platoon. Due to my height, I should have been in the fourth platoon. When we left, I marched in the middle of the first platoon, a few yards behind my Kompaniechef. Another day after dismissal I was to come to the office. My chef showed me a new weapon. It was a Panzerfaust. The head wasn't live but you could fire it. He said: 'I give you this weapon, you are to carry it yourself and wait till I come. Except for the head, everything is real. I have to do something else here but I'll join you later'. He added: 'that is the only Panzerfaust in the battalion'. I went to the training field and began my lesson. The chef didn't appear. The Gruppenführer and the Zugführer had already studied everything and wanted me to give them the Panzerfaust so the lesson could continue. They didn't leave me alone and kept nagging. In the end I gave the Panzerfaust to the Stabsfeldwebel and said: 'you are responsible'. During explanation of the weapon to a section, a recruit pulled the trigger and the – wooden – dummy head flew into the forest. The entire company was searching for the head. Then the Kompaniechef drove up and he reprimanded me. He said when we didn't find the head, he would court-martial me. Eventually we did find the head. If one of us had stood in front of the tube, he would have surely been killed.. As I was on good terms with the Kompaniechef, everything petered out quietly. The training was over and we took the men by train to Yugoslavia (Croatia) to the airport. There a unit was waiting for them.

Back in Breslau I was to leave again for a course in Brieg, Silesia. It was a Luftwaffe course where we learned to read arial pictures. There were 15 of us, from noncommissioned officer to major. That was my finest course. When our air observers had sent the pictures to the regiment, the men were to point out where tanks or artillery were located. Then action could be taken. We often went into the field with map and compass. Two men were always deployed. One moment the target was a recovery unit, another time a pub or a tavern. At a given time we were taken by back by a bus of the Luftwaffe. We never had to walk back.
The day before our arrival, a wearer of the Ritterkreuz had crashed in a training aircraft. I have looked at the airport and the hangar housing the aircraft on my own. I asked the officer how that crash could have happened. He said it is just like the infantry. When an obsolete machinegun is taken from the arsenal to the firing range and is fired continuously, you'll always get problems even with an old weapon and it has to be checked again.

We all wanted to fly. Numbers were drawn as only four men were permitted to come along. The course ended and I had to go back to the recovery company. Once again we had finished a course with recruits. That meant 80 men go to Cherbourg in France with three of us as escorts, the others go to Görlitz in Silesia.. I had to go to France.

We transferred the men to the Ortskommandantur. He called to us from far away: 'Thank God, we finally get some soldiers with front experience'. We said we only escorted the soldiers and now we wanted travel documents to Breslau. He said: 'you'll stay here'. We didn't have us posted anywhere. We had to report to him every day. We said we were a training company and had to go back again. We also learned that the Americans and British would land here in the future. After a phone call to our unit in Breslau we could leave Cherbourg four days later. Those days have been good to us. You could buy anything here. I can imagine that the men and the high brass didn't want to go to the Eastern Front.

We came back in Breslau, Rosenthal. We had to fall in everyday in the recovery company to be deployed. One day, high ranking officers from the Regiment Groß Deutschland arrived from Berlin. They were looking for a noncommissioned officer or a Feldwebel for the guards battalion. I stood only 5 feet 6 but they wanted me. I refused though. I couldn't get it any better as it took me only 10 minutes to get home by tram. We instructors came to Trautenau and trained recruits again. Trautenau is in the Sudetenland in the vicinity of the Giant Mountains.

One day, the battalion had to fall in. General Unruh, the Soldatenklau and his staff needed men for the front again. He had seen me quite a few times in the recovery company. He said to me: 'You are going to Russia and report to the staff of the division as ZbV man. The Hauptfeldwebel was to give me a letter. My Zugführer, an Oberleutnant who had lost his lower right arm, had a beautiful prosthesis with a hinge. He could adjust his hand with it. He said to the general he couldn't shoot with his artificial hand. The general countered: 'you don't have to because you come in a tank and only have to give orders.

T-34 tanks being transported from the factory to the front. Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Piechota_niemiecka_w_marszu_na_Leningrad_(2-867).jpg

At the end of 1945, we all came back to the front. A train was put together and off we went in the direction of Russia. The Russians were already in Germany. In eastern-Prussia, they had established three enclaves, one in Elbing, the second near Braunsberg-Rosenberg Heiligenbeil and the third near Königsberg. I was in the second. The Russians had closed it, we were standing in front of it and couldn't continue. The next night, the enclave was opened for a short time and the train could drive on. We came under heavy artillery fire and everyone was happy when we left the station. I couldn't find my division or my regiment. Fortunately my company wasn't far away. I reported to the Hauptfeldwebel and showed my papers. I remained as ZbV man with the troop. The same day he asked me as he passed me: 'Ernst, if you go forward into the trenches again, I'll recommend you for the Ritterkreuz'. I said very calmly: 'Sachse, I earned that a long time ago'. A little later, the cook of the troop said: 'Ernst, your friend has fallen'. I asked whether it was Walter and he nodded. He knew we were friends. In 1943, Walter had received the Ritterkreuz as Oberjäger and in late 1944 the Eichenlaub as Feldwebel. A few months later, he was killed as mentioned already. Although we served in the same company for many years, we didn't see much of each other because either I or he was injured.

I have been an instructor from the summer of 1943 until January 1944. Three men of the battalion were deployed to find quarters for the company and the battalion. I was part of them. There was no rest for the troops at the front. The kettle was still very large, you could move the company from east to west. One day, eight men joined our company who had been picked up by the army patrol. They had been unable to find their own company.

In one and a half hour, a massive attack would be launched from our side. The Hauptfeldwebel told me: "Ernst, take these men to the company in double quick time before the attack begins'. He said: 'set men in line steps apart because of the artillery fire. Shoot anyone who runs away'. I was the last to go and arrived at the front troops 10 minutes before the attack began. The chef of the company wanted most to keep me there. I had gone for no less than 10 minutes and the Russians laid a barrage. I was lucky and reached the troop unharmed. Here I was given a new task and a letter. I was to go to a castle where a countess lived. When I arrived in the dark, I had to take the long driveway to the castle. The countess received me in a large reception hall. She said to me right away: ' The entrance for personnel and deliveries is on the left of the castle'. My Hauptfeldwebel had alerted me beforehand I should be polite and stick to my role. I gave her the letter. She left me, turned around and went away. She sent me a man who would take care of me. The Russians could be here within a few days and I had to swallow that kind of language.

I remained in the castle for four days. During that time I read 'Mein Kampf' and the 'Pfaffenspiegel'. There was a gigantic hall containing more than a thousand books. I haven't seen much of the castle. I didn't want to be charged with having sniffed around everywhere. I have hardly seen the overseer. After a few days in the castle, I was relieved by another unit. I returned to the company.

There also was a bearer of the Ritterkreuz of the neighboring company in our front command. Our officer who had to deliver the ammunition to the front had fallen. Hence I had to drag the ammo to the front.

Two days before, Iwan had stormed a village during a blizzard. They created havoc there. They had herded all men together and locked them into a barn which they wanted to set on fire. During that time, they raped all women. They demanded vodka, silver and gold. Russian airplanes dropped pamphlets in which Stalin said: 'everything you capture belongs to you, including German women'. How can a politician issue that kind of order?

In the early morning, our unit has attacked the village during a snow storm and the Russians have taken off in a hurry without actually defending themselves, half drunk and dressed in shirts only. Eight Russians hid in a hay stack. They were unable to flee. We three of the front command have brought the ammo to the front. When I entered a house, I saw an entire family sitting with their backs to the wall; they all had cut their wrists. I called a medic immediately. The Russians had raped the wife, the daughter – still wearing the uniform of a BDM member on leave at home – and the young, 13 year old daughter numerous times.
The men were released 24 hours later. They had to work for the Russians. When it was announced that all men would be assembled again and locked up in the barn, they didn't want to experience once more what had happened before. The wife and the older daughter were raped by five Russians. When they wanted to abuse the girl of 13, the mother jumped in, threw herself on the floor before the Russians and said: 'take me instead'. They raped the mother once again. When they had finished with her they raped the little girl anyway. That is why they wanted to end their lives.

The husband had cut the wrists of all of them and then his own. The eight Russians who couldn't get away anymore and had raped the women, were duly shot. The first women dared enter the street again and told us everything. When the wearer of the Ritterkreuz said to the women that many little Russian heads would emerge in the fall, the women said they are too stupid for that. I asked my colleague what she meant by that. He said they only had kept their legs tightly together.

Our battalion was to be deployed in another location again. We three had to look for housing for our company in a nearby small town. The city looked desolate, no soldier or civilian in sight. There was a hotel on the market square and we wanted to house the staff of the battalion there. The owner occupied the entire first floor. The town was very clean and beautiful. The hotel had just three floors. Each one of us took a room, I took the sleeping room. When I looked under the bed, I saw a large suitcase. I pulled it out and opened it. There was another smaller suitcase inside. I opened it immediately, it was full of jewelry. I looked at the door immediately and thought, hopefully the others won't come in. The small wedding ring fitted into the larger one. There were pearls, gold ring, colliers and watches. I first stuck a few pieces of golden jewelry in my right pocket. When it was full, I suddenly thought: 'you only have to get injured and they will hang you for stealing. Once the excitement was over I emptied my pocket. I also thought of the army patrol and what could have happened if they had searched me and found the jewelry. I shoved the suitcase back under the bed. Suddenly, Russian artillery opened fire. I saw through the window how the shell struck at the other side of the square. It was a light caliber but the roof burst into flames immediately. The artillery had zoomed in and after an hour, everything around the square was in flames. We left the hotel and moved into the free standing houses on the edge of the town. Each one of us commandeered three houses for his company. We were hungry and started searching the cellar. What I saw there is hard to believe. The basement was full of shelves packed with food, jars with ducks, chicken, meat and all sorts of fruit. It was the same in every house. We have eaten quite a lot. During the night I had to visit the bathroom three times.

It was February 1945. Our unit was transferred to where the Russians had broken through. The kettle became smaller and smaller. I felt sad for that beautiful small town. Our companies were deployed again in a hot spot somewhere else. We three had to look for quarters again.

There was a supply unit in the village which had occupied all houses. My comrade, the Feldwebel, came up with an idea. He told me: 'the officer of that unit is an Oberleutnant, go inside and introduce me as Hauptmann. After three minutes you come out again and tell me that all houses have been commandeered by the supply unit'. The Feldwebel, wearer of the Ritterkreuz as well, wore a Jäger cap with a silver cord, like it is worn by an officer. After three minutes I was outside near the Feldwebel and reported: 'Herr Hauptmann, all houses have been commandeered by the supply unit. The Oberleutnant countered: 'then we just have to join them. The entire time I thought of the Hauptmann Von Köpenick. The Oberleutnant vacated a few houses for himself and his men. The kettle became smaller yet and the companies were no longer moved around.

A few days later, we three of the front command were to look for new quarters for our front troops. We drove to the next village in a Panjewagen. The first two houses at the entrance to the village seemed suitable to me and I said to the others: 'we'll take those'. I was on the point of writing our company and battalion numbers on the front door of the houses in chalk when I saw two strange soldiers fetching hay and other combustible material from a shed and stacking it in front of the door. I asked them: 'what is this all about' and they answered they had been ordered to put those houses to the torch. I saw they were engineers of a Stabskompanie-Division. I had already noticed they were no engineers from the front as they wore just the Kriegsverdienstkreuz on their uniform. When they had finished their preparations I said that these two houses had been commandeered and not to be set on fire. I explained to the Feldwebel and other soldiers that the front was being moved backwards and that the troop with the Hauptfeldwebel, the cook, ammo trucks and the injured that are in every company needed quarters. The front troops would be lying outside in the snow. One of the houses was strictly for the Hauptfeldwebel and the men of the troop while the other one was destined for the injured. 'We are in a pocket here where no one can get out of and therefore you can't set fire to the houses'. I went to the Feldwebel and said: 'if you order those houses to be burnt down I'll shoot you and the man who sets fire to them'.

I drew my pistol and held it in my hand. Each engineer was armed. The Feldwebel had a pistol and also carried a machine pistol. I understood from the faces of the men they agreed with me but they kept silent. The Feldwebel said brusquely: Befehl ist Befehl. The whole situation changed however when we saw the truck of the troop approach from a distance. I don't know what would have happened if our people hadn't appeared at the right moment. Now the engineers became afraid because they feared being sent to the front.

One of them said: 'Herr Feldwebel, what do we do with the anti-tank mines?' He said: 'Bury them on the side of the road'. The soldiers dug a hole. When they had finished they laid the mines in it and filled the hole. Of course, they actually had been ordered to bury the mines beside the road as anti-tank obstacle. I counted 12 mines that were being buried. When my company arrived a little later I reported this immediately. I pointed out to a wounded officer who was in charge of 3. Kompanie, where the mines had been buried. I also reported the incident to the company. The mines were dug up and rearranged the right way.

As mentioned before, the Russians had established three kettles. The largest one was Königsberg in East Prussia, some 15.5 miles from our position. The other was Elbing, some 12.4 miles away. Our comrades in Heiligenbeil, Brausberg and Rosenberg had to break through to Königsberg. I had been given another order. I was in charge of all injured men of the battalion and had to take the group to re-examination every day and back again. Whenever someone was declared fit, he was to go the front again the next day.

The doctor was in uniform and held a high rank. He had fought in World War One already. He looked like a movie actor. He had snow white hair. I didn't know whether he was 60, 70 or 80 years of age. He had a certain appeal and I observed him often. In the course of time, we got to know each other well. I only reported when I took men to him and back again.
The order came that the troop was to be disbanded. Everyone had to see the doctor, me too. Back to the front or home. When they all had finished, it was my turn. He always took much time for me. He talked with an East-Prussian dialect. 'Boy, you have seen enough'. He clapped my shoulder and said: 'you go back to your mother and you'll get your travel documents from me'. When he hung the pass on my neck he said: 'Boy, take good care of yourself'. The road to the mother was still long, as he said. When I told him that the Russians would be here in three or four days he only said: 'I'll stay here with my injured comrades. He embraced me with tears in his eyes. When he saw me crying too he held me tight, turned around and went back into the church where he always performed his examinations. He walked around the altar with tears in his eyes, I watched him go but he didn't turn around.

Soldiers dragging a car through the mud in the fall. Source: Bundesarchiv, Bild 146-1981-149-34A / CC-BY-SA 3.0

Königsberg has surrendered with 95,000 soldiers and officers. The available Russian regiments were deployed against us. As we were on the shore, the engineers have taken us with them in their storm vessels. Later on I arrived in Pilau by boat. From there we went to Swinemünde. My left arm was still bandaged and I carried it in a sling. On arrival in Pilau, the Gustloff just left the harbor. I was furious and thought: holy shit. When I learned however that the Gustloff had been torpedoed by a Russian submarine two hours later, I was happy of course not to have been on board. Now I went looking for a boat, not a large one but a small one. There were a few hundred ships in the harbor. Everybody wanted to go home but the harbor master didn't give permission to depart. I inquired but the commander gave no information. A rescue vessel of the Luftwaffe was to set sail to Swinemünde. Eight men and an Oberfeldwebel were aboard. I asked him to take me along when he left. He said: 'the boat has a leak a yard long and I am not allowed to take anyone along'. He repaired the leak provisionally. Finally, when I came to him for the fourth time, he said come aboard, we'll sail in an hour with an escort.

One hour into the voyage, the engine stopped. The other vessels sailed on. When I asked why they did not wait for us, he smiled and said that we were on our own. He ordered to put on life jackets. Suddenly two Feldwebel of the artillery emerged from their hiding place and also put the jackets on. They surely must have bribed the captain to come along. After an hour we finally could continue and fortunately we arrived in Swinemünde.

From the harbor we all had to go to the barracks. We were examined and were given documents to travel to a recovery unit in Lübeck. An SS officer who slept with me in my room, said it was some 75 miles to Lübeck. In three or four days, the war may well be over. He did alert me to the alarm companies that were deployed almost everywhere. He had been picked by such a unit himself and taken back. After having listened to his stories I calculated that when I covered 19 miles a day, I could be in Lübeck in four days. Then no one could get at me. Moreover, not one train is running anymore. I had to travel by car each time, get out before a village, go around it and then drive on. So I had been warned.

In Swinemünde I boarded a truck loaded with refugees and soldiers. We left town. Half way the SS stood on the street and took every soldier off the truck. Although I had been warned, I did make a mistake. There were a Hauptmann and two men of the SS checking everyone. They sent each soldier to the inner yard of a large farm where the check point was. I looked inside and saw a few hundred soldiers standing there. They were guarded by four SS men. I went to the Hauptmann and showed him my marching orders. When I went to him for the fourth time he said: 'when you come once more, something is going to happen'. That Hauptmann hadn't been at the front yet and those guys were very dangerous.

Because he had warned me, I got scared of course. The war could be over any day and I wouldn't put my life on the line in these last hours. Here everything was chaos. A farmer and a three year old boy were standing at the gate. He had seen everything. He told me to come with him. We had to walk on the other side of the inner yard and the guards were already shouting: this way, this way. The farmer said calmly: let's have coffee. He led me to the back of the house and pointed at the barrier which was 6 feet high and slanting inwards. He said go. When he had said so a few times I jumped onto the wire and over it. I was scared to death. The guard only had to walk 20 yards into the street and he would spot me. Scared as I was, I ran up the side road.

The next day I went around two villages and in the third I looked for a place to sleep. On the way to Lübeck I heard that Hitler was probably dead. In a suburb of Lübeck, the street was quite empty, a staff car with a banner of a general drove past. About 70 yards ahead of me, two officers got out, went to the military patrol, asked them their papers and shot them on the spot. Then they got back in the car and drove on. This lasted some five minutes. They took the badges of the patrol, their papers as well because there was a picture on the body of one of them, showing his family: the wife, himself and a child. A few Momens later I learned why they had been shot. They had been absent without leave from their company for four weeks. I wasn't afraid anymore because I had my marching order for Lübeck. He said to me: 'you don't go to the barracks anymore. This afternoon or tonight, they'll assemble an alarm company and you can go with them. And when you report in 24 hours, you'll have to see a doctor first'. In a day a lot can happen.

At the time, the Russians stood 12.4 miles before Lübeck and the Americans 9.3. People hoped the Amis would arrive in Lübeck before the Russians. Next morning I didn't see any one in the barracks any more. We stood in the inner yard of the barracks when an Englishman arrived. He went into the guard room, came out with a Gewehr 98 and smashed it against the wall. It broke in two pieces and he threw them away. A few minutes later, a British tank unit drove up. The entire battalion had to fall in in marching order. The British soldiers took all our valuables like rings and watches from us but our decorations as well. After a few days in the Lübecker Bight, we were all posted. A Feldwebel of the artillery and I were allotted 80 men. We were loaded onto trucks and taken to a large farm. The pigsty was empty, we cleaned it and established our quarters. At a height of 6 feet, there was a hayloft were our comrades were to sleep. Each morning, the men had to fall in and the two of us had to assign them to work.

We split them up in road and bridge construction and drilling wells. The men were taken back and forth by truck. Among the British, noncommissioned officers do not have to work. There was enough work to be done on the farm. We also deployed the men here. They had to ride on the trucks, load the sacks and unload on the farm. The trucks couldn't get beyond 8 yards from the barn. I gave each bearer a large nail and instructed him when taking a sack from the truck and putting it on your shoulder, stick the nail into it and tear it open. That way, a nice trail of granules was created. The British thought of course that the sacks were torn. When they drove off to fetch new sacks, we both went in, swept up the granules and put them in a bucket. We selected two big, flat stones and I made flour of the granules. The English gave us a slice of bread per day and a watery soup. Often we also received 10 grams of butter. I collected the butter and under the eyes of my comrades I made a flour soup. Yet, we were always hungry. The next day, at parade call, a comrade reported his bread had been stolen. Another replied immediately, saying his bread had been stolen as well the previous day. A fierce discussion erupted. A few days later, something was stolen again. We and the 80 men decided that when we catch the thief, he will be hanged. That was announced each time at fall in. We even wanted to put a guard in the pigsty. But the thievery continued. A few comrades set up an ambush and eventually caught the thief. Things became hectic and the men shouted hang him, hang him. Four men held the thief against the wall and the noose was already over the beam. In the dark we couldn't recognize the culprit. When I stood next to him, I noticed he was only 16 and wore the uniform of a Flakhelfer. He was the youngest of the 80 men. I put my right hand in the noose immediately. Many shouted pull up, pull up. My colleague, the Feldwebel had just left and could not help me. I had a lot of trouble calming the men down. I said: 'he could have been your son or brother'. The men didn't kick or beat the boy. They wanted to see him hang.

It was Sunday, the case was closed as far as we were concerned but not for the boy. In passing, the men spit at him or on his shoes. A few hours later, an elderly soldier came to me and said: 'I 'll take the culprit with me'. Eight days prior to the event, it had been agreed that the farmer would take the boy to his farm as he had neither children nor family. The boy would take over the farm later. He had also called his wife in Saarbrücken he would take someone with him. The spouse was happy of course that they both would be assisted in their work. Now I had to tell the boy that a thief wouldn't be incorporated in the family.

The boy told me his parents had both died. He surely would have led a happy life with the family. Life and the deployments continued. My comrade gave me an empty tin of a gallon and said: 'now we are going to search Weinberg snails'. I asked: 'Are you going to eat them?' He said: 'and you too'. I replied: 'no way'. On a fire outside we heated a pan of water. We threw the snails from the tin into the boiling water. They came loose from the shell immediately. We used a beaker to scoop the slime out. When we boiled the water for the second time, the snails were clean. Thereafter we baked them with our 10 grams of butter. We found a lot of snails, only white ones and I must admit they tasted very well.

After three months, our camp was dissolved and each soldier was asked where he would like to go after being released. I wrote Breslau because I thought my wife and child were still there. The British officer told me that no German officer would be sent to the Russian-Polish sector. My brother, of class 1916, who had served in the motorbike brigade in Bad Kissingen had married in the vicinity in 1943 and no one of our family had been present.

So I had myself sent to the vicinity of Bad Kissingen. I submitted a request to the Red Cross to search for my family. I was lucky and after a few weeks I received word that my wife, our child and grandmother had been housed in a gym near Landshut. After my release from prison I traveled through Bavaria for four weeks, looking for my family. In the end I did find them. Naturally I had them come to Bad Kissingen right away.

After the war I kept in touch by letter with my Regiment 49. Twice, I attended a reunion of the regiment but apart from the high brass I met no one I had known as messenger or Gruppenführer. Until 1956, herr F. Koch from Goslar in the Harz frequently sent me the magazine 'Kameradschaft ehemaliges Jägerregiment 49' and until 1957 the magazine 'Nachrichtenblatt der 28. Jägerdivision'. Then the Bundeswehr was founded. Many officers who had previously served in the Bundesgrenzschutz took their entire platoon with them to the Bundeswehr. We received a letter that our Jägerregiment 49 wanted to publish a book containing our wartime experiences. I also sent a contribution but I never saw whether it had been incorporated in the history of the regiment.

As I mentioned before, I had penetrated the Russian lines twice and reestablished contact with Btl. 405. I don't know where my article ended up. On 10.11.58, comrade Koch wrote me: 'Dear comrade Pawlas. I reply to your letter with the vivid message about the history of the regiment'. From Goslar it took three weeks before I received the letter via roundabout ways. I can still remember the fighting very well as I was adjutant of the III.49 at the time. I haven't heard from him since.

An unexpected encounter in Mainz-Finthen.

Meanwhile we live in Rüsselsheim. As I am a collector of old bank notes and picture post cards, I was on the flea market in Mainz-Flintenheim. Searching through old post cards, I found one from the year 1900, stamped at 25.01.00. It was addressed to Herrn Graf von Rittberg in Strassburg. I said I'll buy this card. Casually I told he seller that a Leutnant Graf von Rittberg had been my former Kompanieführer for six months. I had been with him day and night. In the battalion he had been reported missing. The salesman said: 'That was my uncle. I have never known him as I was too young. He told me his uncle had been executed by the SS in 1944. When I asked him why, he said it was because he couldn't hold his tongue. I countered he had been a very calm officer. He replied that Graf von Moltke and others had been his partners in discussion. I repeated, we have been together 24/7 until he was injured during an attack and added: then you are a Graf too. He nodded, gave me a card with his address and told me where he worked.

I would stand up for our officers. We had fine company leaders and battalion commanders. They have fallen like anyone else, up front in the trenches or during an attack. I would like to add that when we were in the trenches on the Crimea, our Oberst Jordan paid us a visit at the front. As always, 15 to 20 Russian aircraft flew over our position, firing at us. The Oberst had a comrade give him a rifle and he fired at the plane. He hit the pilot and the aircraft crashed. That event circulated fast through the regiment.

I have often written about the numerous deaths we had to mourn during our battles. However, I or others who have written about their experiences in the war, have never told anything about the way we handled our dead before they were buried.

On Christmas Eve, when I and my family sit around the Christmas tree, singing Christmas carols with our grandchildren, the others don't notice the tears in my eyes when I think of the comrades and friends who I have buried or together with others.

Before we laid the dead comrades in their graves, something still had to be done with them. That is what I want to write about now.

One day near Leningrad we had two dead soldiers. We had to take both comrades to the military graveyard and we looked for a wagon. The man who drove the Panjewagen had a lot to load this time. First the food, then the water flasks, woolen blankets and other stuff like ammo boxes. We put the two dead comrades on top. When the wagon was fully loaded, we drove in the direction of the troop. The rural roads were very bad because they had been severely damaged by our shells. When a few shells struck near us, we went faster in order to get out of the danger zone. When I looked back after a while, I noticed that the dead had disappeared. The waggoner halted, tied the horses and we walked back to look for the corpses we had lost. Fortunately they were only some 15 yards behind us. The waggoner fetched the wagon and we put the corpses back on.

On arrival at the troop I had to undress the dead soldiers as they had returned from leave a few days before and their uniforms were as good as new. I dressed the comrades in an older uniform and they were buried that way.

In the spring, summer and autumn, time permitting, we took the well maintained uniforms, coats and boots from the dead because they had returned from leave a few days before and their cutlery, belt , tent and boots as well. Our unit hadn't received fur boots with heels. We only wore felt boots. Instead of real soles, we sewed pieces of leather on the felt. It often looked like the OKH had already abandoned us.

During winter, when the corpses were frozen stiff and we couldn't get their rings off their fingers, we just cut off their ring finger. Almost no one of us had a pocket or wrist watch. Our dead comrades were buried that way. There often was a chaplain at the military graveyard in Mga. He would speak a few words.

Later on we did it a little differently. First we laid the dead on the Panjewagen, then the blankets and the coats, bags and ammo boxes last.